


Hope at the Cost of Dignity

by Skysquid22



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 08:11:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15747741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skysquid22/pseuds/Skysquid22
Summary: Barba weighs the pros and cons of confessing his love for Sonny.A Remix ofClose To You





	Hope at the Cost of Dignity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [barbaesparza](https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbaesparza/gifts).



> Not Beta'd. So any mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Anyway Bee, I hope you enjoy this! Sorry it took forever.

When Barba sat down for a briefing at the precinct he suddenly noticed something strange. Carisi, with one hip cocked toward him, hovered close. He didn’t even bother sitting down in the chair right next to him, or the two empty seats beside Rollins. Internally Barba didn’t mind it, the young, easy to please, detective/lawyer, was just trying to get close to him. He’d seen it before, a law student that was desperate for advice so they could get better and become what they paid for the education to be.

There was a flaw with that thinking, he’d practically just got here, why would Carisi want to leave already? Or maybe it wouldn’t be of his own recognisance, Rafael heard of all the borough hopping he did before he came to Manhattan SVU perhaps he wouldn’t continue his tour through the city that way. Perhaps he was planning on going into law once he passed the Bar. 

Barba shifted in his seat like it would ease the uncomfortable feeling he got in his gut. He’d never admit it aloud, but maybe Carisi wasn’t all that bad. 

So he stayed where he was, enjoying the proximity. 

\---

Time had passed and it seemed that Carisi wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Case after case he seemed to give as good as it got and without fail Rafael couldn’t resist pushing back as well. 

One day they’re lingering around in the precinct, waiting for their lunch to arrive when Carisi got spurred into some legal talk. Barba noticed that he seemed to be the only one paying attention. Not that it bothered him much, because no one else would and he’d ended up getting more fodder for teasing. 

His hands, fully animated and flying around wildly, were partly telling a story and asking for clarification. He slowed, dropped a elbow to his knee and an hand to his chin and asked, “Am I right, Counselor?”

Barba took note of how he was tipped towards him, almost trapped in his attention. He replied readily. “Every leap year.”

He smirked and Rafael struggled not to smile as to not tip off his enjoyment of their banter. As Carisi continued with his point Barba shoved his fidgety hands into his pockets and again replies in tandem until their food arrived.

Once it came Carisi took his chair to sit at Fin’s desk. The distance wasn’t far, so continued their conversation. All Barba could think while eating his meal is if he should tone down his friendliness a bit, be more professional. But he shook it off and deemed it okay.

\---

It’s not often Barba got a chance to speak with Carisi one on one, so he relished the opportunity when it arrived. Maybe _too_ much. 

Asking Carisi for an update on the case shouldn’t include this much staring and murmuring. They kept their voices lowered despite the noisy setting of SVU. Rafael tracked his movements and kept his body towards him. He was acting like he hung the moon, when did he get so enamored with Carisi? Maybe it’s because of his updated wardrobe, or the fact that he’s easy on the eyes, or that once grating Staten Island accent isn’t as bad as he once thought. But this must be nothing more than a simple crush. 

Behind Barba the door to Liv’s office opened and he could spot in his peripheral vision Rollins and Fin walkout. Panicking, he regretfully and abruptly broke eye contact and strided away. Stoically, Barba straightened his back, gave them a polite nod and walked off. It was the end of the conversation anyway and he got what he needed, but there was no reason to stick around for that long. With a jolt he realized he only stayed around just listen to him talk.

Not a week later when Rafael caught himself being drawn into Sonny’s orbit. They’re all around the table in the middle of the bullpen sharing the facts about the case. Barba made annotations as he listened to the detectives. Head down he tried to figure out a way to use what they’ve brought to him. Usually he does the brainstorming, but Carisi has always eager to share his own thoughts. 

It’s practically clockwork, when he presents an idea Rafael would make a snide comment. 

This time went differently. 

Barba stopped taking notes and looked up to watch him ramble on about his idea, his hands flying here and there, eyes full of hope locked on to his own. It’s not that bad of a theory, they’re always are, but regardless Barba always had a quip about them. That part wasn’t different, but he got a strong gut feeling that he should compliment the detective this time. Figuratively patting him on the back for doing good work.

“You’re right, Carisi.”

Rollins glanced up at him and Olivia gave him an odd stare. Sonny blinks, smiles, and sat up, pleased at the praise. His beaming grin was so contagious that Rafael bit down on his bottom lip to keep himself from smiling too much. 

\---

Over the following weeks his infatuation didn’t die down. It burned in his heart like a well cared for flame. 

He could keep it tempered though, still ever the professional Barba strutted into the precinct answering Amanda with an ‘hello’. He rolled up his sleeves and got down to work.

An hour ticked by, the air in the building felt damp and thick like a warm blanket around his shoulders. Exhausted from the task and the setting he looked up to see Rollins and Carisi shooting each other looks. They’re sitting close together. Suddenly the warm feeling from before dissipates, Barba blinked and focused his gaze on Carisi. 

His sleeves were up for working, he’s still wearing that stupid Apple watch, a light flush befalls his cheeks under the fluorescent lighting, and strands of his hair are slowly curling over his forehead. Overall he’s a dream to look at.

Carisi’s gaze breaked from Amanda and his bright blue eyes turned to him. He then goes on the explain a new theory and while it’s interesting, it wouldn’t hold much water in court. It didn’t matter at the moment though, Rafael simply watched him ramble. 

Barba wasn’t sure what Carisi saw in him. Whatever that causes him to lean in and smile, eyes sparkling in anticipation. In response Rafael couldn’t help but give a small smile, he aimed for a smirk but it ended up too sincere for the company. Regardless he didn’t drop it and got to witness Sonny glance down at the grin and beam. 

Shakily, Carisi pulled away and continues his conversation with Rollins. Barba went back to his work with renewed determination after the impromptu pick-me-up.

\---

Late into the evening a knock rattled the doors to his office, not bothering to ask to come in Amanda opened the door.

“Detective Rollins.” He greeted neutrally, hoping to make this visit short.

She took the hello as a cue to walk in and shut the door, “Evening, Counselor. I have a file for you.”

Rafael motions for it and she offers it up easily. Expecting that to be the end of the conversation he dived back into his work, examining the new files. Looking up he noticed that she hasn’t moved at all, she just stood there anxiously. 

“Barba, I…”

“Yes?” He asks, nudging her. He had a flow going on, it’d be a shame to lose it. 

“I know you’re busy, but can I ask you a question?”

Rafael set his pen down on his desk and sighed. Reclining back into his chair he kept his voice light and polite and said, “I have a bit of time, have a seat.”

Tentative, she sat down and took a deep breath. She was psyching herself up for the question, Barba prepared himself. 

“Well, I’m sorry to just spring this on you…”

“Go on.” _The point Rollins, it’s somewhere in there._

“I wanted to ask you… how you feel about Carisi.”

It stroke him odd that she would go out of her way to ask him about her own coworker. In the pit of his stomach he felt the rising need to get defensive. “Excuse me?”

For a moment she didn’t say anything, just standing and staring absentmindedly while licking her lips. Another moment passed and Rafael gave up on her trying to respond back. Careful to not give anything away he asked, “What do you mean, how I feel about him?” Despite his efforts his voice still came off as sharp and cracked. In another attempt Barba tried to save face by tacking on, “He’s quickly becoming a fine detective,” this time it sounds more believable. Probably because he knows for a fact that it’s the truth. 

Blind to the slowly rising panic in him, Rollins continued, “Sure, I agree. But how do you feel about him…” She paused, debating again, “personally?”

_Shit._

Rafael’s gut reaction is to deny it. Then his mind fast tracts onto _if_ they had a relationship, how it would look at work and all the nasty logistics and consequences of it. His head’s running a million miles an hour and he had yet to answer Rollins. “I- I don’t understand, Detective. Am I supposed to have any personal feelings about my colleagues?” He hated how his panicky voice from before is back.

Surprisingly and thankfully she didn’t see the fear in his eyes. “Sure, no, that’s- sorry.” Rollins placates. 

Barba squinted at the sudden drop of subject, he was honestly expecting for her to continue the line of questioning. Deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth he muttered, “Well… I suppose… if that’s all…” 

“Yeah… I’ll let you get back to it,” She stood up from her chair and made her way slowly to the door, almost contemplative in step. 

Rafael pulled the new files closer to him. “Well, have a good evening, Rollins.”

“You too, Barba.”

\---

He spent a week deliberating over what she meant and what she was trying to achieve. So the next time he saw Rollins he had come to a decision. It might’ve been a bit masochistic, but that suicide streak was always apart of him. 

At the time he thought it was her getting onto his case which inadvertently it was, but now Barba had over thought into a different conclusion. 

He had to know.

The opportunity came later. Any detective could arrive to hand him the documents he needed and there was a chance that Rollins would get the short straw. Sure enough with a quick knock she entered quickly and nearly tossed the papers on his desk. She didn’t even bother to close the door, clear with her intention to get in and get out.

“Hold on,” Barba smirked, clenching his control over the situation. Amanda halted and turned, her face was carefully neutral. 

He steeled himself and asked, “Why did you ask me that? The other day?”

“Hmm?” 

Internally, Barba faltered and huffed. _He was acting like a teenager._ Still, he avoided eye contact and reaffirmed, “Why did you ask… how I feel about Carisi.”

“Oh.” She stated.

This was going nowhere. He had to be blunt. “Do you not like him?” Barba knew it was a loaded question, but her answer could change everything.

For a brief moment Rollins seemed to snap out of her stupor. “No. I like him fine. I mean in the beginning, I suppose… well, he’s a bit of an acquired taste, isn’t he.” She confessed softly. 

The traitorous corner of his mouth quirked upwards. “You can say that.” For a second he wondered if he was looking too far into this. In the back of his mind he knew that he should take the answer at face value and not theorize. Instead he presses, “So why do you ask?”

Amanda looks away towards the floor, once again he’s got control. “It’s silly.”

“Not too silly that you didn’t ask in the first place.”

She hesitates, drawing in a short breath. “No, I suppose not…”

Barba leans back in his chair and decides to go in for the kill. “Do you… _like_ him?” He ignores his clumsy phrasing and instead registers Rollins reaction.

It’s not what he was expecting. 

“Huh?” She snapped her head up quick enough that he worried mutely about whiplash. Her face scrunches to up something of disgust at suggestion. “No,” she pronounced. 

At that Barba relaxed, his skepticism was resolved. “Oh. Good,” _wait._ “I mean, not good, I mean, it’s not bad.” Damn, just when he had authority over the situation. 

Across from him Rollins grinned like the Cheshire Cat. “Oh?”

Quickly reverting back to professionalism (or what left he had of it) he leaned forward and resumed sorting papers on his desk. “Thank you, Rollins. I’ll let you get back to work.”

She smirked, “ _Hold_ on. Not so fast,” Amanda actually stepped forward, closer to his desk.

Barba frowned and looked up at her, wishing for this meeting to be over. “Hm?”

“Alright, I’ll tell you why I asked.” 

Barba regarded her carefully, taking note of her calm tone and relaxed face. On guard, but curious he responded, “Okay.”

“I just wanted to know, you know.” Amanda stated, “Because he acts differently around you.” 

“Does he?”

She nodded sincerely, “Yeah, and I thought maybe you did around him too, and I- I kinda consider him a friend now, and I just wanted to, you know, make sure I wasn’t…” She trailed off, trying to find the right words, “seeing things?”

He-

Barba shut his mouth and considered what she said. There’s no reason she’d lie, not at this point. Purposely she was avoiding the elephant in the room, leading to no clear answer. And for something like _this_ he’ll need something concrete.

“Say something?” Rollins prodded from above.

It doesn’t happen often, but on occasion Barba is left struggling for words. All that came out of his mouth is an embarrassing squeak. Of which Rollins started to laugh at. Finally he found himself. 

“What do you mean, _differently?_ ” 

Panic starts to rise like the tide.

“He’s always standing next to you, haven’t you noticed? Always in each other’s bubbles.” Her smile goes shy, “It’s kinda cute, you know?”

Barba white-knuckled his pen. Voice carefully measured he asked, “Rollins. Are you _sure?_ ”

She pursed her lips and declared with a slight smile, “Well, I’m sure you guys are always choosing to stand far too close to each other. Of that I am sure.”

“Sure. That doesn’t mean anything though. Does it?” He tilted his head a fraction.

Amanda’s voice softened into contemplation. “He wants to be close to you, he’s always hanging off your every word, even lighting up when you walk into the room,” then she looked into his eyes, “Why do you think that is?”

“But-” his voice still sounded like a petulant child. There’s evidence there but it’s all circumstantial. Nothing Rollins told him should have him convinced and yet… 

Scepticism was a bitch, he needed to know more.

“Did he ever say anything to you?”

Rollins rocked back on her heels, looking away. “Let’s just say I’ve caught him checking out your, uh-” she cleared her throat, “checking you out on more than a handful of occasions.”

Oh. 

“You like him, don’t you, Counselor?” 

In an attempt to hide his darkening blush he dragged a hand across his mouth. Attraction may have been there, but that still wasn’t a guarantee that he would ever want a relationship with him. Although, based on how Amanda was trying to sell it, Carisi was looking for a relationship. 

Leaning right above him Rollins grins, “I can tell he likes you too. Come on, Barba,” she announces, “what have you got to lose?”

His head snaps up from his stare down at the floor to the space right above Amanda’s head. Frowning and sullen he said, “Pride. Dignity. Collegial respect.” He may have just lost these things with Rollins, but he wasn’t that willing to subject the same for Carisi.

She waved it off, “Pfft. Please. And all those things basically mean the same thing so there’s really not that much.” 

Putting it like that it seemed easy. Still, he knew better. There was too much risk, he didn’t know how to handle the seemingly looming rejection. Looking back down at his hands he realized he’d been strangling his pen like a stress ball. Barba released it and set it down gently on his desk. 

Head bowed and quiet, he spoke the truth, “I’m afraid he’ll say no, Rollins.”

Barba then turned to the window to weigh the pros and cons once again. Across the table she assured him, “He won’t. Trust me.” 

How could she be so sure? Carisi must be very obvious about it.

“Promise me you’ll at least think about it.” She sounded a bit desperate, but was trying to hide it.

He sighed and murmured, “I always am.” Really it’s all he’s been able to think about recently. The meeting gave him hope, which was a good or a bad thing depending on how things went. Before it he was a lovestruck fool, now he’s a lovestruck fool _with hope._ His mind still told him that there was little to no chance of actually being with him though.

Amanda raised from her spot on his desk and slowly backed away. “Evening, Counselor.”

“Good evening, Detective.” 

\---

Although he didn’t feel at all ready to face anyone at the precinct he still needed to talk to Olivia. Which meant he had to walk by Carisi, but armed with new information he felt more confident than before. That is until he heard the tail end of an hushed conversation.

“Clear, schmear. He fucking hates me, Rollins.” 

Carisi looked so dejected and depressed, Barba’s first action was to blurt out, “Who could hate _you,_ Detective?” He tried to sound light and teasing, but both of them stilled and looked at him. They must’ve not had heard him walk up. 

Rollins straightened her back, “Uh.” she looked at Carisi quickly then back to Barba with a stony stare. “My friend, Dave.” 

“Huh.” He searches for something to say that would be appropriate in the situation. Something that doesn’t convey that he only asked to make sure they weren’t talking about him. Then again they would lie wouldn’t they in that situation? Dejected and unsure, Barba settles on, “His loss.” and hightailed it out of there to Olivia’s office. He’ll have to investigate later.

Rafael actually waited for a minute inside her office so he could corner Amanda soon as she got back to her chair. By the time he sauntered over there he could see that she looked despondent. Her face brightened a bit once she noticed that he was hovering over her desk. 

“Rollins. Who is this… _Dave?_ ” He honestly didn’t mean to sound so disgusted at the name.

She caught his hostility toward it though and smiled, “Oh, don’t you worry, Counselor. There is no Dave.” Amanda said simply, like it was the carefree thing in the world.

Barba questioned, “You made him up? An imaginary friend, Detective?”

She pursed her lips.

“So who were you actually talking about?”

Her relaxed demeanor dissipates, in lieu of a response she looked down at her paperwork.

Barba sighed, his last shred of confidence lost he sighed, “You were talking about me.”

“Uh…”

His face soured, “How can he think that?” 

“But…” After what she told him, after all that time spent gazing at him. Not just how could he think that, but why? What went wrong? What did he do that made Carisi so upset at him. In a moment of weakness Rafael hushed, “Every second I spend around him, I have to restrain myself from making moon eyes at him. I can barely take my eyes off of him.” His voice was both full of pity and acrimony. 

Rollins winced, “Well maybe you’ve been restraining yourself a little too hard, if you know what I mean? I mean, _you_ didn’t even know Carisi liked you, and I gotta say - as an impartial observer he’s a _lot_ more obvious than you are, Counselor.”

“Hmm.” He’s not quite sure about _impartial_ part, but it does make him reconsider his actions.

“I think you better do something about it, don’t you?” She leaned forward in her chair, “Dave’s loss, your gain?” 

Barba scoffed and took a moment to think about it, all the while Rollins continued to make her case. “You can’t let him keep thinking you hate him, can you?” 

She was right, he had to brave the cold waters and jump in if he wanted to set things right. Maybe he’ll confess, but at the very least he has to let Carisi know that he doesn’t hate him. 

“No, I don’t want that.” 

She smiled and sat back into her chair, “Great. Glad we had this talk.”

Rafael nodded and walked away. As he was reaching the exit he saw Carisi in the breakroom trying to look busy.

\---

Shamelessly, Barba came back a few hours later. 

Liv had left for the day, leaving only Carisi and Rollins to work. Which wasn’t the _most_ ideal, but it would work fine. Barba was walking in on a confidence high, he’d just had a meeting with Buchanan which wasn’t a complete disaster. In fact it went in his favor.

Today was a good day as any.

He spotted Amanda focusing on her work, only a quick glance in recognition, and decided to pull the object of his affection aside.

Keeping his voice low so she couldn’t hear, he murmured softly, “Carisi, a word?”

“I-”

“Please?” 

Carisi, looking nervous, jerked his head in affirmation. He led him around the corner, hopefully out of hearing range for Rollins

“I- I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to say it.”

That… wasn't a good start. Carisi looked terrified, folding his arms he stood stiff like whatever Barba threw at him could bounce off. 

He sighed and focused, “I… well, I was speaking to Rollins, and-”

The tension in Carisi’s shoulders dropped like a rock, one of his hands snaked out and flipped up, “Oh, great-”

Before he could continue that line of thought Barba spoke over him, “And what she said led me to hope… that perhaps you might return my feelings.” He winced on Carisi’s behalf, that confession was sloppy, muted, and rushed. Not to mention the fact he babbled it into the general direction of his shoulder.

Barba forced himself to look up. Carisi’s hand stood frozen in the air, and his face was beaming. He looked like he just got news of another niece was coming into his life. 

Adorably he moved his mouth trying to find a start. He got there, “Feelings?”

The wide blue eyes, pink lips, and dimples provide an instant pick-me-up. “Yes,” he breathed, “I have feelings. For you.”

“Oh.” He blushed, looked off to the side for a moment to regroup, and dropped his hand down. Then he turns back quickly, sans smile, and asked, “I thought-”

“That I hate you?” Barba finished for him. He was too enthralled to notice that his shoulders tensed up again. “I could never. And I’m sorry for ever making you think that.”

The grin returned, only more pleased and giddy. His body relaxed, letting his other hand drift down to his hip. Biting his lip he responded with, “Oh, that’s good, because… I do.” He nodded, “Return your feelings I mean.”

Voice turning wistful he asked, “I thought you knew.”

“Well,” Barba replied softly, like a warm blanket, “you never said.”

Carisi sighed and shook his head at the situation, “I thought you knew, and didn’t return mine, but were just too profesional to tell me to back off.”

“Oh.”

That threw Barba off, he could be a hardass occasionally, but outside the courtroom was a slightly different story. Speaking of…

Barba grinned and huffed, “I’m not that professional.”

Luckily for him, Carisi took the bait asking, “How so?” 

Rafael stepped forward, crowding him against the wall. “Would a professional do this?” He leaned in closer so their bodies left little space inbetween. He hovered over a dazed Carisi’s lips, teasing him into action. Barba wouldn’t instigate a kiss though, he’ll set a spark but Carisi had to fan the embers. 

Once he got situated he stared into Barba’s eyes seemingly looking for something. A sign? A warning? Whatever Carisi found he smiled and tugged on his crimson tie to pull him into a kiss.

It was perfect. 

It was heaven.

Years of sexual tension did a lot to your mind, including amplifying your senses once it was finally released. Carisi tasted both sweet and salty, it was alluring and addictive, great in every way. But before he could go further, Carisi pulled back. 

His baby blues seemed to sparkle, all wide eyed and still in shock he took five seconds to breath then went back into it. Somehow the second time was better.

Tentative hands traveled up and down Barba’s back. Then, in a bold move they grip his sides and pull him even closer. Taking advantage of the proximity, Barba slid a hand to his jaw and tilted his head so he could maneuver him into just the right angle. It allowed him to take the kiss ever deeper and swallow a small moan which was cut off from getting any louder from the loud whoop from the bullpen. 

The two separated with startling breaths and wide eyes. They pivoted their heads towards the sound to see a lone Rollins with a giant smile on her face. 

Barba scowled at her. 

Still. She’s done a lot for Rafael. Giving him hints of Carisi’s interest and in turn it led to the hope and confidence to pursue him. Then when the initial hope failed she revitalized it again. He’ll have to thank her later.

But first he wanted to ask something. He turned back towards Carisi to catch him staring, crinkly eyes and dimples greeted him. Smiling at the sight Rafael trailed an hand down his forearm and leaned in slightly. 

“Have dinner with me, Detective.”

Not shy, Carisi gave him a quick peck on the lips and responded, “I’d love to.”

Humming Barba took his hand and started to lead him away, Carisi squeezed it but then abruptly stopped in his tracks. Then he pulled a confused Barba back into bullpen. Quickly he threw his coat on, grabbed his bag in one hand and Rafael’s in the other and set off. Waving, he announces, “Alright. Good night.”

Amanda, who’s been watching all of this unfold and still smirking, responded with a wave of her own. She looked so smug. Carisi nudged Rafael and pulled him closer into his side, from this distance he could smell his sharp cologne. Barba looked behind his back and noticed that Rollins’ smile became more of an soft grin. 

He’ll take her to a dinner of her own, or buy her a drink. The later would be more applicable though. “Good evening, Detective.” Then he mouthed, “And thank you.”

With all the the sweet southern charm slicking her voice she cooed, “Anytime, Counselor. You two enjoy your night now, won’t you?”

Carisi stopped again just to glare at her, but he wasn’t there for long before he was escorted away. 

\---

Dinner goes slowly.

They talk, they eat, they talk, they eat. Over and over again, even getting a small dessert which Carisi insisted that Barba take a bite. Once he paid, much to Carisi’s charging, they left the dim lit restaurant and hit the sidewalk. Side by side, hand in hand. 

The air was thick and wet with humidity. Their hands were slightly clammy as they waited, but strangely Barba found that he didn’t mind. 

Somehow, Barba only now realized that he just fell in complete euphoria. He’d never thought he was the type to do confessions of love like that. Or kiss openly in front of colleagues. Or hold hands in public. Or gaze longingly into his lovers eyes constantly. Like right now. Carisi even kept looking down, sneaking shy glances. 

_He’s so cute._ Barba thought to himself. He may have never done anything _this_ sappy and romantic, but he didn’t feel like he had to be ashamed. Enough time was already wasted he’d better just enjoy this.

Impulsively he stepped over, grabbed his other hand and pulled Carisi in. It’s a miracle that they didn’t clash teeth when they kissed, but it worked out to something warm and sweet. Barba practically melts into it, drunk off of the sugary taste still on his lips from dessert. The kiss doesn’t slow down, nor does it speed up, but Carisi backs off with a content sigh. He hovered close, foreheads resting against each other, just taking in settling breaths and enjoying the other’s presence. Carisi held his hands tight and pulled so their chests were pressed together, harder to lean down into his space he moved to rest his lips over Barba’s temple. The act make him take a startling breath. 

“Does this mean you’re my boyfriend now?” Barba was almost too focused on trying to keep his breathing controlled he almost missed the question. 

_“Yes.”_ He breathed. 

Above him he could feel Sonny shift to look at him, no doubt with a look of surprise at his transparency. Barba kept his focus on his pale, easy to mark, neck. 

A smile clear in his voice, Sonny wondered, “Wow. I could pinch myself.”

At last, Rafael managed to tear his eyes away from the prize and looked up into ocean blue eyes, “And you’re mine?”

Sonny released one of his hands, not without some effort, and held Rafael’s cheek. “I’m yours, Rafael.” 

“I’d never thought it possible.” He chuckled, shaking his head. It felt like so much changed in so little time.

“Well,” Sonny drawled. “I have plenty of time to get you to believe it, don’t I?”

“That you do.” He agreed, then pulled back slightly, letting the night air sweep in between them. “Make me a believer, Sonny.”

Based on the glint in his eye, he’d caught the snark in his voice. Getting sultry he hushed, “I have got a few ideas.”

“Oh?” 

Sonny slowly started to drag a hand up and down Barba’s arm. He noted the change in breathing and hummed, “We can start with continuing what we were doing earlier,” shrugging he adds, “You know, back at the precinct.”

Barba gave a sharp grin and lowered his voice accordingly, “You’re full of good ideas, aren’t you?”

“I guess we’ll find out.”

Nonchalantly Carisi moved away, still a firm grip on one of his hands, he stood tall next to Barba patiently waiting for their cab. Rafael rested his head against his shoulder and sighed, “I believe we will.”


End file.
